There is more than this! - Finding the Blueprint Workshop in Brighton

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?'
Nelson Mandela

I am busy getting together the material for the next "Finding the Blueprint" workshop in Brighton in a fortnight. It does feel like ages since I last ran it and I don't know why I have let the time elapse because I absolutely love doing it. I really enjoy it when some one calls me afterwards to tell me they have made big changes in their life and they are now on track to doing what they want whether it be work or travel or relationships or whatever. It seems I always have to add to and rewrite all the course material before each workshop because even though I have done it for so many years I just keep learning more and more in the time between the programs.

I try to keep them fairly inexpensive so that they are accessible to more people but each time the venues get more expensive.It is important to me that I hold them in a welcoming place where people can relax and enjoy the two days. Brighton is now a commuter town for London and I have had quite a few young succesful women and men calling me up to book in. There seems to be a theme that resounds with these people..they are educated, successful and fed up! They want something more. They want to live a life that has quality and an inner landscape. They want more than the power they thought they wanted in the early days. The other group that seems to be interested in changing their life is the group of 50+. They have worked a long time often doing work they didnt want to do and now know they may have to work longer. It is time to start creating a life that is fun and meaningful. Is it any wonder I love doing this?

Isn't it just crazy that we often end up doing work that has no relationship to who we are or what our dreams might be? We think we can put our talents in the back of the closet and only remember they are there when we forage around for something to make us look a little special. But all the time they are niggling away reminding us that we are something more. Barbara Sher said it so perfectly when she said "I know I'd be brilliant at it if I knew what it was". We have put away our dreams for our lives so long ago that there are hidden beneath the boxes of shoes and the old dress and the Marilyn Monroe hat all stacked on top. And yet we all get that niggle every morning when we are heading off to do work that is not a reflection of who we are...that despondency that there is something more ..there has to be something more to living than just doing this.

So this is why I love this workshop. It is exciting to see the "excavation" work going on and the fun we have. I remember one woman who really stands out because she was so angry ..really angry with everything and everybody..it was apparent in everything she did. In her hair cut (all spiky), in the way she talked. The workshop goes for two days and I really didn't think she would come back on the second day but maybe the wonders of sleep and the processing that must have gone on overnight saw her walk in chirpy and ready to design a plan for her future. I get so excited and happy when I see things like that. It is not rocket science. We are not happy when we are not being authentic or using the talents we are born to use. She called me about a month after the workshop to tell me that she got so much out of the 2 days and especially she got "hope". She also was able to put in place a life plan with steps to make her dreams happen even though she was in her late fifties.

I often have people tell me to "be realistic". "We all have to eat and pay the mortgage" they say and they are right. We do have to eat and we do have to pay rent and often we do jobs that are providing the way for us to move forward on our path. Just knowing we are on track to that goal makes the work worthwhile and we become grateful for it instead of resenting it.

I think it is difficult to keep on track without support from friends and family. They are often the ones who worry most about us and they try to urge us into safe secure work. There are stories that abound about people who had stopped in the frantic money making race to find out who they really were. They then went on to change their lives. The result was that they now ere living with such passion for their work that they ended up being more successful than they had ever could have imagined and the barrier between work and life had blurred. Being around people who enjoy their work and life is just wonderful. It inspires others.

If you are a Brighton person and want to take part just send me an email. You're welcome.

More than my possessions..

I have just got back from the Brighton market. Even though it is Sunday morning and cold and damp... very cold. I made a huge effort and dragged myself out of bed before the sun came up. I remind myself that I am in England at the moment and the sky is so grey it is tricky working out if the sun has risen or not. I did manage to get there early enough to catch the stallholders as they were unpacking their trucks. (photo by David Gray-see URL in side column)

Like all real bric a brac markets, the stall holders arrive in rusty old trucks and vans with their goods in any sort of container they might have had hanging around...old suitcases, collapsing cardboard boxes or old biscuit tins. I am a regular bric a brac visitor but I never buy much..the occasional piece of jewellery or the odd vase or trinket that catches my fancy but I just like going there. It is as if I am visiting a different world run by different species of people.

It is the "citizens" of this world, the stallholders, that interest me. They aseem to me to be different to the rest of us. They look different. There is a knowing look in their eye that sees through "the punters". Between you and me I have a secret belief that they are the true zen masters. Isn't it just a given to them that this thing we call life is merely a transient phase? It is their job to know this! They feed themselves on our impermanence. Their whole business is based on this. While we sit for hours in uncomfortable meditation positions trying to come to terms with the nothingness of everything, they simply go about their business of cleaning up after us. Like dung beetles, they tidy up after humans have moved on. They simply drive up to the now "departed" home and gather all the flotsam and jetsam into their rusty van until no sign of the life once lived is present. The photograph that had once been awarded pride of place on the mantelpiece is just another piece of the leftovers to be thrown into the truck and carted away.

I remember this as I fossick through the old suitcases and turn over pieces of costume jewellery and I find an old wedding photograph. I try to imagine the person stading looking out at me, the person who once treasured these things. The photograph reminds me that each of these jettisoned articles was once the very focus of a person's life. For just a few minutes I try to honour that one moment in the picture and hope that it worked out as welkl as the picture promised. I untangle a cheap looking gold chain from a little varnished box. Cheap looking to me but precious to someone, once.

I dont want you to think this is a depressing visit to me. It is quite the opposite. It is liberating. It reminds me of the absurdity of focussing a life on acquiring things, or "needing" to own things. It reminds me it is all an illusion. I remember the wisdom of people like William Morris and his quest that all things we use should be beautiful and useful. I try to remember that the real legacy of a life is in the eyes of the grandkids or the story of the good things they have done, or a myriad of actions that led to someone else's life being better. That's all that matters. Wasn't it the Dalai Llama who when asked what his philosophy was, said "Kindness, simply kindness"?

My early morning trip to the market reminds me that all the angst I allow myself to thrash around in is a waste of my creative time. The real value of a life is in what is created... what is learned along the way and in the times I made the life and journey of another easier.

Have pen and a passport

What first inspired me to email that obscure address in Taos New Mexico?

I don't recall that I was even planning a holiday or trip. It was a hard time for me and I can vaguely remember sitting at my desk in Sydney Australia wondering what kind of holiday I could have as a 50+ single woman that wasn't going to involve sitting on a coach doing "Senior" things.

The truth is I didn't feel "Senior". I don't know what "senior" is meant to be. It smacked of a much more sedate and conservative me than I was feeling or intended to feel at that particular time.

50+ means no kids to think about, 50 years of unlived dreams and not having to worry if your "bum looks big" in your new jeans. The unfocussed energy of earlier years was being replaced by a new sense of focus and courage and a yearning for new experiences. Maybe it was just a whim to look for a holiday that would push me to explore my talent and unknowingly give me the chance to meet a load of interesting people who were also looking to explore life through writing.

I had never heard of Taos. I thought New Mexico was in Mexico. In fact, apart from Washington DC I had never been east of Los Angeles.

Maybe there was an unspoken fear that time was running out and I might never get down to writing. It was time to stop the talk and start doing it.

My future holidays were NEVER going to be sitting by a hotel pool feeling old and alone. Whatever it was that took me to Taos, it was an inspired choice and became one of the best decisions I had made in years. As a result I met wonderful people and made some lasting friendships. I also found myself energetically pursuing my writing.

This experience was so incredibly positive I really wanted other aspiring writers and creative people to enjoy a similar experience. With my friend from San Diego we set out to plan an ongoing program of creative trips for writers and artists of all ages, Trips which would provide an opportunity for them to visit other countries with a few new friends and spend the mornings taking part in creative tasks.

This blog will remember some of the great moments of past tours and talk about the plans for future trips.

I hope you join us.